I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
