So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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