party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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