hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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