I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
