I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
its not stalking. its research.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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