sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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