you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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