Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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