I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
