i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
