Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
