If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
