My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
