So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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