i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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