google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
