all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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