Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
