Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
