He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
