Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
