fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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