we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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