if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
