I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you win again, gameday.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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