The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had to cum in my sink.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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