the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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