I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize