capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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