I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
