No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize