is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize