i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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