he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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