Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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