I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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