Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im six kinds of drunk right now
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
