I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
