I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
