I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had to coat check the pizza.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
