You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
