i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
