do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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