She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
