I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
