I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
