Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope. http://tfl.nu/7xzu
  Replies (42) Good night (5928) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner" http://tfl.nu/hbdd
  Replies (38) Good night (5820) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point? http://tfl.nu/qhrq
  Replies (15) Good night (5056) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family. http://tfl.nu/jlgb
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (3996)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so are you any less fat since you started doing blow? http://tfl.nu/jikm
  Replies (40) Good night (1651) Bad night (5729)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster http://tfl.nu/9e73
  Replies (6) Good night (755) Bad night (3022)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its only a rough draft.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers (440): its only a rough draft. http://tfl.nu/pfud
  Replies (10) Good night (3793) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter. http://tfl.nu/55jx
  Replies (4) Good night (2982) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am http://tfl.nu/oz9f
  Replies (5) Good night (3098) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins. http://tfl.nu/hjt3
  Replies (8) Good night (656) Bad night (1547)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night. http://tfl.nu/9irj
  Replies (9) Good night (1079) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours. 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.  http://tfl.nu/s2ri
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now? http://tfl.nu/ffln
  Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?! http://tfl.nu/sdve
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (164)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you. (1-727): His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me. http://tfl.nu/a0hl
  Replies (3) Good night (1279) Bad night (202)

Randomize