It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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