he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
