Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)

  (661): View more from California

  should have blown me.

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  (818): thank you for a lively/lovely evening :) (661): should have blown me. http://tfl.nu/rnof
  Replies (50) Good night (1054) Bad night (4139)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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  (650): apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again http://tfl.nu/fi23
  Replies (23) Good night (1485) Bad night (3826)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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  (402): i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty http://tfl.nu/i6m7
  Replies (95) Good night (3256) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.

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  (803): you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night. http://tfl.nu/8q1c
  Replies (11) Good night (4891) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape

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  (980): after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape http://tfl.nu/d3c4
  Replies (8) Good night (3772) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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  (615): im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused. http://tfl.nu/4oz4
  Replies (9) Good night (5528) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2659) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.

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  (509): Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore. http://tfl.nu/z28x
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.

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  (618): His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings. http://tfl.nu/61i4
  Replies (5) Good night (2035) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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  (619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (565) Bad night (2061)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom

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  (610): I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom http://tfl.nu/d66w
  Replies (5) Good night (895) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON

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  (917): i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON http://tfl.nu/vk8e
  Replies (5) Good night (850) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.

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  (416): My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss. http://tfl.nu/xbc0
  Replies (9) Good night (1256) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.

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  (202): Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward. http://tfl.nu/pb68
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is my life. Enjoy the view

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  (250): This is my life. Enjoy the view http://tfl.nu/hr1c
  Replies (0) Good night (424) Bad night (207)

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