I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...