Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)