Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?

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(850): Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today? http://tfl.nu/xk43

Replies (54) Good night (1051) Bad night (4611)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials

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(815): I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials http://tfl.nu/tg93

Replies (11) Good night (1085) Bad night (3448)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on

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(412): i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on http://tfl.nu/87g6

Replies (38) Good night (6079) Bad night (1107)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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(267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w

Replies (48) Good night (29167) Bad night (1154)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

(904): View more from Florida

FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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(614): Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing. (904): FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift http://tfl.nu/ws8p

Replies (18) Good night (7751) Bad night (1199)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.

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(414): He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/wrdx

Replies (12) Good night (4053) Bad night (1043)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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(225): I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one. http://tfl.nu/gflz

Replies (11) Good night (4976) Bad night (1172)
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(770): View more from Georgia

i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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(770): i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot http://tfl.nu/xdnv

Replies (27) Good night (7182) Bad night (1384)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song

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(918): 3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song http://tfl.nu/o6l8

Replies (6) Good night (2588) Bad night (1139)
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(530): View more from California

so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro

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(530): so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro http://tfl.nu/frkc

Replies (5) Good night (1759) Bad night (803)
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(718): View more from New York

She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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(718): She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet http://tfl.nu/l8w6

Replies (10) Good night (1234) Bad night (965)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.

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(262): You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM. http://tfl.nu/legz

Replies (3) Good night (1467) Bad night (372)
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(425): View more from Washington

Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people

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(425): Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people http://tfl.nu/m00z

Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (520)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.

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(617): i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much. http://tfl.nu/n2r6

Replies (0) Good night (586) Bad night (324)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways

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(514): He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways http://tfl.nu/0cc7

Replies (0) Good night (975) Bad night (276)

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