Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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  (970): I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious. http://tfl.nu/cwzo
  Replies (21) Good night (856) Bad night (4641)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me

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  (908): This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me http://tfl.nu/8neg
  Replies (16) Good night (4172) Bad night (709)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."

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  (917): well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you." http://tfl.nu/h98x
  Replies (3) Good night (3201) Bad night (908)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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  (267): Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams. http://tfl.nu/lmv8
  Replies (21) Good night (4631) Bad night (1273)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2415) Bad night (958)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

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  (660): I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah http://tfl.nu/jyz7
  Replies (9) Good night (2291) Bad night (884)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

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  (503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui
  Replies (8) Good night (2862) Bad night (864)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

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  (845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx
  Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (619)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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  (843): I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today http://tfl.nu/bbq7
  Replies (12) Good night (2999) Bad night (586)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.

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  (850): I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/6a77
  Replies (5) Good night (1540) Bad night (412)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

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  (903): Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits." http://tfl.nu/82c3
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (370)
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  (209): View more from California

  i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

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  (209): i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious http://tfl.nu/dwdz
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (554)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on

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  (705): As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on http://tfl.nu/a8qc
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (497)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.

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  (989): I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/avdp
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.

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  (919): He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk. http://tfl.nu/4wxn
  Replies (1) Good night (178) Bad night (326)

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