pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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