We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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