wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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