a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
