I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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