Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
