explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
