my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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