I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
