I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
