toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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