I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
