dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
