I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
do herpes really smell.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
