Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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