i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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