All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
