Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
