I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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