I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
please don't ironically join a cult
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